


Aftermath

by Lasha



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Episode: s04e21 Starsky vs Hutch, Gay For You, M/M, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 08:35:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6948004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lasha/pseuds/Lasha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Kira, Starsky and Hutch work out their issues in a new way. Bottom!Hutch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> Brief mentions of Kira, but this is a Starsky/Hutch centered story. 
> 
> Written for the zine, [Dreamers](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Dreamers) in 1999. Lightly edited from previous version because oh my this is one of my oldest stories and it needed a little polishing!

"What the hell is your problem today, Starsk? Or should I say this week, this month?" Hutch spat the words out to his dark-haired partner sitting next to him in the car.

The response was quick and quiet, "Nothin.'"

"Nothing, my ass. Try to pass that crap onto someone else. I know you too well. It's like the pod people have taken away my partner of the last seven years and replaced him with a Starsky clone - one that doesn't talk to me unless he has to. The only reason I know it's you and not some alien is that you still want to eat tacos and hamburgers at two o'clock in the morning. So, what crawled up your butt and died?" Hutch said harshly, figuring the only way to bring Starsky out of his funk was to piss him off.

The dark head glanced quickly and looked at Hutch briefly while keeping a close watch on the road.

"Nothin's wrong, Hutch, Starsky replied calmly. "Absolutely nothin.' So, lay off it, okay?"

Before Hutch could make another comment, the police radio broke in, "Zebra Three."

Reaching for the microphone, Hutch replied, "Zebra Three."

The dispatcher radioed, "See a man named Bruno at The Whiskey on Sunset."

"10-4. Zebra Three out," Hutch returned the microphone to its cradle, and looked at Starsky. "Guess our snitch is wanting to talk. Let's go."

"Yeah," Starsky said as he turned the Torino down a street which would take them to Sunset Boulevard. It was deathly quiet in the red Torino and both men hesitated to break the awkward silence.

The streets swept by Hutch's glaze quickly as Starsky drove them towards their destination. The silence in the car lingered and Hutch shifted restlessly in the seat, his leather jacket squeaking on the front seat of the Torino.

As Hutch looked out the window at the passing scenery. Seeing his face in the reflection of the window, Hutch stared out aimlessly. His blond hair took on a ghost-like appearance and his moustache almost wasn't visible in the reflection.

Knowing that the conversation they had started earlier needed to be finished. Hutch paused as if to speak, then thought better of it. _Later, we'll finish it later. That's what I've been telling myself all month, ever since...No, it couldn't be that._

This couldn't be about Kira.

It had only been a month since they'd faced the biggest challenge of their friendship. But, Hutch couldn't face yet another confrontation about that. He'd much rather think that the problem lay elsewhere. Kira. The name still caused Hutch to cringe. She had been the biggest mistake of his life, besides Vanessa.

Pushing that disturbing thought away, he pushed the problems Starsky and he were having and focused on the job. Lately, it was the only thing that had been keeping him sane.

* * * *

"Zebra Three signing out."

"10-4, Zebra Three. Time: Nineteen-twenty."

Hutch looked across at his partner, thinking that the day had gotten progressively worse since their terse conversation this morning. Their snitch, Bruno hadn't given them any helpful information and they had spent most of the day driving around Los Angeles trying to find a lead on the murder of a young prostitute who had been found beaten and stabbed in a run-down motel on Hollywood Boulevard two days ago. So, far they hadn't had any luck. Starsky had grown more sullen and moody as the day progressed and Hutch in response has withdrawn into himself. All he could think was he couldn't wait until Starsky dropped him off at his apartment in Venice Place.

Ten minutes later, Starsky pulled the car up in front of Hutch's apartment building.

As Starsky turned off the car's engine, he turned in his seat and looked at Hutch, "You hungry? Wanna order a pizza?"

Looking back at his best friend like he had grown two heads, Hutch snorted, "Yeah, sure, Starsk. You don't say two words to me all day, but you want to come up and order a pizza. Sure, no problem." Hutch opened the passenger door, threw his long limbs out the door and climbed out of the car.

Slamming the door behind him, he walked toward the entrance of Venice Place. He didn't hear Starsky's door open and close to follow him. Looking back over his shoulder at his partner who was still sitting in the Torino, Hutch yelled, "You coming or what?"

Starsky's response was to get out of the car and walk slowly over to where Hutch was waiting. "Yeah, I'm comin.' Jeez, Hutch, stop being such an asshole."

The blond drew himself up to his full height and looked his friend in the face, "Me...an asshole? That's rich. Since all day you've been acting like a real shithead."

"Takes one to know one, Blondie!" Starsky countered back, the first sign of aggression Hutch had seen in a long time. Feeling fed up with his partner and just plain old worn out, Hutch grabbed Starsky and pushed him toward the stairs leading up to his apartment.

"Let's take it inside, Gordo!" Hutch growled, his pet name for Starsky sounding like an insult, having none of its usual playfulness.

Starsky pulled away from Hutch's touch and mounted the stairs. Hutch followed sullenly behind.

Reaching his front door, Hutch put his right hand up to the ledge above and got his key. Opening the door, and gesturing with a flourish of his hand for Starsky to go in before him. Starsky walked into Hutch's living room, feeling the blond's presence closely behind him. The door slammed and Starsky whirled around to see Hutch leaning back against the frame. Frustration and anger etched into every part of his body language and facial expressions as the blond looked him up and down.

"Care to let me in on what's bothering you there, buddy? Or am I suppose to pay twenty questions with you and figure it out on my own?" Hutch said forcefully, walking closer to where Starsky stood.

"You're the detective. You figure it out there, partner! I'm going to order a pizza while you think about it-"

Before Starsky could move towards the phone in the kitchen, Hutch grabbed his arm, still encased in its favorite brown leather jacket and pulled him close to whisper, "How about I beat the crap of you, then you explain to me what's the matter."

Blue eyes glittered dangerously back into another set of angry blue eyes and rose to meet the unspoken challenge Hutch had thrown out. Starsky countered, "No, how `bout I kick the shit out of you and then maybe you'll leave me alone and let me order my pizza!"

 _Stalemate_ , Hutch thought. Never being someone who would resist a fight, he grabbed Starsky's upper arms in a vice grip and shook him, "Dammit, Starsky, tell me what's wrong."

The dark head snapped back and looked up into the face so close to his and tried to twist out of Hutch's embrace. Hutch held on. "Let me go, Hutch, or you're gonna to regret it!"

Feeling close to the truth and what was bugging his best friend, Hutch pushed, "Regret what? What's going on with you? You in love? Someone reject you? Somebody in your family die? Tell me, Starsk. I'll be here for you. I promise. We're buddies, that's what we do-"

That sentence seem to set Starsky off. He twisted out of Hutch's grip and pushed at Hutch's chest with his left hand, pushing the blond away. Hutch was back in an instant, grabbing at his partner's arm, but Starsky was too fast - he missed. Starsky moved out of Hutch's reach.

"Buddies, yeah right...with friends like you, who needs enemies, right? I'm out of here." As he moved toward the door, Hutch stepped in front of him, blocking his partner's path. Starsky moved the left, Hutch moved to left. Starsky moved to the right, Hutch again copied the action. 

Hutch didn't see the fist coming until it hit him in the face. He stumbled backwards, dizzy for a minute. That's when Starsky made his attempt to escape. Hutch still smarting from the blow, tackled his partner in a football move, bringing both men to the floor, pinning Starsky beneath him.

"You gonna explain that remark, Starsk? Or do we punch it out here and now?"

Starsky lay panting beneath the taller man's body, "You want the truth so bad Hutch, okay, here's the truth. You screwed up, Hutch. You screwed up big time. I mean, how am I supposed to trust my partner, my best friend when he fucks my girlfriend? Uh? How am I supposed to trust you with anything anymore? Now, get off of me!" With that, Starsky bucked his hips at an attempt to push the blond off.

Hutch responded by placing his legs on either side of his partner's hips. Then by sitting back on the smaller man's upper thighs, he effectively blocked any attempt Starsky made to leave.

"Oh no, I'm not moving 'til we work this out. Kira? This is about Kira? I thought we had put this behind us...moved on." Hutch leaned his upper torso closer to Starsky's and whispered in his friend's ear, "I'm sorry. What else do you need? You'll never know how bad I feel."

Starsky reply was muted, calm, like he had been thinking about it for awhile. His tone scared Hutch. He had never heard so much pain before in his friend's voice, "Words, Hutch. They're just words. You took something from me because I wanted it, not because you loved her. That I could have understood. No, but after you were finished with her, you threw her away. It was just a way to get to me, wasn't it? You didn't want me to have her, so you made sure I'd find out about the two of you. Can't stand to see me with anybody else, can ya? That is anybody else...but you!"

Hutch's pale expression was all the answer Starsky needed to see to know he had nailed it perfectly.

"Yeah, I finally figured it out. Dumb 'ol Starsky. Too blind to see the forest 'cause of the trees." He paused briefly. "Now get off of me before I hit you again."

Hutch rolled off Starsky and lay back on the floor, watching his partner rise to his feet. It's out in the open now. Starsky knows. 

He felt ill. Hutch had never intended that his obsession - his love - for this man to ever become known. But, Starsky was right, sleeping with Kira had been a way to come between them. Hutch knew when Starsky found out Kira and he had been lovers, it would be all over between the pretty, blonde policewoman and his beautiful partner.

He had planned it. No, he hadn't seduced Kira, she had been more than willing to betray Starsky also; but Hutch had planned on Starsky finding them together. Knowing Starsky as well as he did, Hutch had rightly assumed his friend would choose his partner over his lover. Hutch had thought when they had made up at Huggy Bear's and blown Kira off things would return to normal, but it had been over a month and nothing had been the same since. 

_I'm in love with best friend and because I was too much of a coward to tell him, I slept with his girlfriend to break them up; so I could have him all to myself again. God, I am an asshole._

Hutch slowly rose to his feet, a little unsteady after Starsky's tirade. But, he couldn't let it end this way, not after all they had meant to each other over the years. Hutch had to try someway and make amends.

"Starsky, please don't go. We can work this out. I am so sorry."

"Now, you're sorry. Geez, Hutchinson, in all the years we've known each other and you've pulled some pretty shitty things on me in the past, this is the first time I think you're really are sorry. But, it's too late. Save it. You crossed the line this time."

Starsky's words hurt and Hutch tried to ignore them. But he couldn't, after years of loving this man, he couldn't let go that easily. Sensing that this really might be the end of their friendship, Hutch decided to go out fighting, instead of groveling, "What? Because I fucked Kira, you're going to end a seven year partnership? You didn't really love her anyway, Starsky. If you really think about it, I did you a favor. If she had really loved you, she never would have slept with me. Come to think of it, you should be thanking me!"

Moving quickly before Hutch had time to react, Starsky slammed his partner against the front door, pushing his back against the wood. Putting his fingers into Hutch's thin, blond hair, he yanked Hutch's face towards his and bit out, "This what you wanted, Hutch? This what you wanted to keep Kira from having?"

As if in slow motion, Hutch saw Starsky's mouth coming towards his. Then, those lips took Hutch's in a kiss that rocked the blond to his core. _This can't be happening._ That was his last coherent thought as Starsky's mouth possessed his.

Hutch's body and mind spiraled down into a desire so deep it left him moaning for more. Starsky deepened the kiss. Unable to stop himself, Hutch returned the kiss. Starsky parted the blond's lips with his tongue and moved into the warm recesses of his partner's mouth. Starsky's tongue was out of control, plunging in and out of Hutch's pliant mouth. Teeth and tongues touched, met and grappled with each other for dominance. Pushed against the door, Hutch could feel every inch of Starsky's body pressed against him. He'd grown hard the instant Starsky's lips had touched his. As his cock throbbed in time with his pounding heart, he pushed his raging hard-on into Starsky's pelvis. His partner's response was to push back, all the while never breaking contact with Hutch's mouth.

Suddenly, it was too much for Hutch. A realization of all his most secret fantasies about Starsky were coming true. It was everything Hutch could have ever wished for in a kiss. Especially from this man he had secretly been in love with for such a long time. He wasn't afraid any longer, and responded to the kiss with a wildness that matched Starsky's. There was no tentative touches, but a barely restrained ferocity between the two and Hutch reveled in it.

Moaning against Starsky's mouth, Hutch grasped those powerful shoulders, wanting everything he could give and more. Starsky didn't disappoint him, kissing him back harshly. With his mouth pressed against Starsky's, Hutch dipped his tongue between the lips, sliding in one long and erotically painful stroke. Under his fingers, Starsky's skin felt so warm, so inviting, he became dizzy with desire.

Passion. Desire. Heat. He hadn't realized one kiss could provoke it. Demand it. This was what he had been missing with all his past lovers. This.

Taking both hands, he moved them from Starsky's shoulders and pulled Starsky's hips against him. Grinding their throbbing erections together. The dark haired man moaned, low in his throat. Hutch was relieved at the sound. Starsky wanted him too. Starsky _wanted_ him. The thought gave him hope that after this madness was over, they could start over fresh. 

That talented mouth ravaged his and Hutch responded in kind, taking his hands from the smaller man's hips and placing them on Starsky's ass. Gripping those tight cheeks, Hutch pulled up on the buttocks and pressed their pelvises together, grinding them around in a circle, guaranteed to inflame his soon-to-be lover. Starsky sucked on Hutch's tongue in response. Hutch moaned as Starsky's tongue traced the inner recesses of his mouth.

They strained against each other, the only thing keeping Hutch in an upright position was the door against his back and Starsky's grip in his hair. Suddenly, Starsky broke the kiss, drawing away to catch his breath. Blue eyes met blue, then Starsky moved first, taking his hands out of Hutch's hair and placing them on his chest. Grabbing those powerful shoulders in front of him, Starsky guided Hutch away from the door and over towards the couch. Hutch complied, letting Starsky lead the way. This was his show.

Starsky pushed Hutch backwards and he fell into the couch. Starsky quickly followed his friend down and landed on top of his body. As Starsky straddled Hutch's body and swiftly shed his leather jacket, gun holster and T-shirt , pulling it over his head and throwing it on the floor. Hutch felt his gun holster and shirt being removed. Then, he heard the sound of ripping fabric and was shocked, then aroused by the sight of his shirt being torn by his partner's strong hands.

Unconcerned about the buttons falling to the floor, Hutch helped Starsky remove what was left of the shirt. Next came his jeans and briefs. They were thrown to the floor also. With the last of his clothes gone, Hutch felt Starsky push himself down onto his throbbing body. Their bare chests touching each other for the first time.

To Hutch, it felt like heaven. It was intoxicating, addicting. Nothing had ever been so good in his life. A hot ache grew in his throat, and Hutch implored his lover with his eyes. _More, more. Take me._

* * * *

In response his partner's gaze, Starsky began rocking his body against Hutch's, imitating the rhythm of lovemaking. Harshly rocking back and forth, Starsky was in the grip of some primitive, mindless need to possess Hutch. The fever to posses Hutch was all consuming; to mark him, brand him as his own. Mine, this is mine, screamed through his head. Starsky kissed Hutch again, taking that mouth in a ravenous assault. The kiss was punishing and angry and his firm mouth demanded a response that Hutch was all too willing to give. Their tongues dueled, each trying to outdo the other. To push each other over the edge, but Starsky was the first to pull back, breaking off the kiss.

"Starsk...please," Hutch said, his mouth straining towards Starsky's.

He wasn't finished tormenting Hutch yet. Starsky moved back toward the blond, blue eyes glowing with a savage inner fire and then slowly moved his lips down Hutch's throat, past his collarbone and onto his lover's hairless chest. Finally, he got to Hutch's nipples, licking and sucking on each in turn until he was sobbing with desire. 

Starsky needed more and continued his violent journey down Hutch's toned body, using teeth and tongue to make his friend moan with pleasure. Starsky knew he was leaving bite marks, but it didn't matter. He wanted, no needed this act to take away the pain of what Hutch had done to him. He needed to own him, body and soul, only then would the hurt and betrayal go away. This would wipe Kira out of both their minds forever. After this Hutch would belong to him and only him. _It was what Hutch had wanted all along wasn't it?_ Starsky thought.

When he felt Hutch's hips bucking beneath him, he caught them firmly in his hands, holding him down, Hutch's cock brushed Starsky's arm and the heat was scorching. Without any hesitation, Starsky moved down and over the throbbing organ and closed his mouth over it, swallowing it whole. Moving his tongue up and down Hutch's penis, Starsky licked at Hutch's cock like it was the best thing he had ever tasted. He sucked on the tip, tasting the salty pre-cum, then moved on to devour the thick shaft. Over and over, Starsky repeated this motion. It felt so good to do this to Hutch. To give him pleasure. To obliterate Kira from both their minds.

* * * *

Hutch could hear the sounds he was making, frantic, voracious sounds, gasping his lover's name out loud, fueling the fire burning through his body. It was too much, it felt like an electric shocks scorching through his body. Hutch whimpered almost in pain, his arousal bursting. 

The licking and sucking -- it was more than Hutch could take. His overheated body pushed beyond its last limit. He reached downward, his hands cupping the back of Starsky's neck, entwining his fingers into those black curls. Gently showing his partner the rhythm he liked. The effect was unbelievable. Intense pleasure poured through him from the action of his lover's mouth, but the firm grip Starsky kept on his shaft kept his climax at bay. Hutch moaned. He groaned at the exquisite torture. He thrashed his head back from side to side. He couldn't breathe, the pleasure was so fierce.

When Starsky took Hutch deeply into his mouth, what was left of Hutch's control finally snapped. Brutally he began thrusting into Starsky's mouth, fucking his partner's mouth while holding on to his hair in a death-like grip. 

Hutch lost it. He couldn't think straight, lost in the total sensation of Starsky's mouth pleasuring him.

Finally he cried out in release, spurting hot liquid deep into Starsky's mouth. His world came apart as Hutch surrendered to the most cataclysmic orgasm of his life. As his spinning universe slowly came back into focus, he looked down to see Starsky slowly releasing his spent organ. Closing his eyes to that incredible sight, Hutch tried to catch his ragged breath.

Before he could do that, he felt himself being turned swiftly onto his stomach. Pulling himself onto his knees for his lover, he felt Starsky's arm wrap tightly his waist. Feeling his lover's other arm move down his back to linger above his butt cheeks.

Hutch gasped when Starsky forced one wet finger inside his tight opening. That finger moved back and forth in his opening and Hutch's world spun and careened on it's axis. He laid his head on his arms, feeling totally exposed and vulnerable. Hands grasped his hips, and he shivered, almost convulsively. Knowing what was to come next, what had to happen. He didn't have to wait long.

All rational thoughts left Hutch's mind, as Starsky continued his assault. The seeking finger suddenly finding a little round protrusion and Hutch screamed out loud, "Starsky!"

Starsky's hands were between his legs, his fingers caressing, rubbing, gently opening him, finding that spot over and over again. Creating a wet-hot and wild sensation that caused Hutch to move his hips and cry out incoherently.

Nothing could have ever prepared him for the sensations of how good it felt to have his partner finger-fucking him. A second finger joined the first, piecing his hole. It continued to stroke his insides, driving him crazy with desire. Suddenly, both fingers were taken out and he heard the rustle of Starsky unzipping his jeans. Then strangely, footsteps away from the couch and into the bedroom. Moaning at the loss of his partner's fingers, Hutch could only wait for his partner's magical hands to come back, hoping that this wasn't part of Starsky's plan to teach him a lesson and repay him for Kira. To leave him hanging, mad out of his mind with desire.

"Starsky, please, babe," he called desperately, urging his lover to come back. Hearing a drawer being opened and closed and then a couple of seconds later he felt Starsky move into position behind him again. Sighing in relief, he heard Starsky remove his jeans and finally felt his partner's cock against his ass. Starsky wrapped his arms around Hutch's middle again. 

Then, the fingers were back inside him, probing, stretching.

This time, however, the fingers were lubricated with lotion. 

Suddenly Starsky spoke, his voice harsh and low. "What do you want, Hutch? Say it-"

Starsky's voice startled Hutch as he'd been silent all throughout their lovemaking. The words struck at his very core, asking him to be honest. To bare his soul...there was no other response to give but, "Fuck me, Starsk. Please."

Moaning as Starsky worked his fingers in and out of his body, continuing the torture. Hutch gasped, "Now, babe. I need...ah, yes!" Closing his eyes to experience the full sensation of Starsky's fingers opening him up, Hutch threw his head back in a moan of both pleasure and pain as Starsky touched the spot deep inside him again. Hutch sobbed at the intense feeling, pushing back against Starsky's hand, urging him to take him.

His lover complied to the request, removing his fingers and then with one long, glorious thrust, Starsky gave them what they both wanted. Hutch winced in pain at first, unaccustomed to the thick length. Exhaling, his relaxed his inner muscles to accommodate him. Starsky's arms tightly pulled against his chest as he began a violent pounding rhythm that Hutch echoed with his own backward thrusts.

It wasn't enough. Hutch wanted more. To have Starsky lose complete and utter control. Looking back over his shoulder, he caught Starsky's dazed, passion-filled glaze. His heart melted. Hutch spoke one word, "Harder."

Blue eyes darkened and Starsky willing complied. It was as if all of Starsky's control and inhibitions finally snapped with that one word. He wrapped his fist around Hutch's hair, pulling the blond's head back, exposing his neck. Biting the exposed area, his thrusts became wilder and harder. The primal rhythm relentless, both of them rushing desperately toward release.

Hutch felt one of Starsky's hands release his hair and move down his body to grasp his leaking cock. The hand stroked gently at first, tentatively. Then, finally harder, quicker, mimicking the rhythm of his thrusts.

With each stroke of Starsky's hand, Hutch felt himself grow hard again. The stroking motions continued outside and inside Hutch's body and he howled in pleasure at the sensations, his gasps and moans driving Starsky on to thrust deeper and harder, both of them now desperate for release.

To Hutch, it seemed to go on forever, both of them crying out their need with low moans. Their thrusts grew harder, more violent as if some power had control of them, driving them on to complete this step. Then, one final thrust, a last stroke of Starsky's hand sent Hutch over the edge. He screamed out his release, yelling, "Starsky!" as he came. Hutch clenched his inner muscles, wanting to pull Starsky over the edge with him.

Hutch heard a muffled shout and Starsky stilled, then collapsed on top of his back. Starsky's weight was too much for him and he collapsed onto the couch cushions, pulling his partner down with him.

Too exhausted to move, Hutch lay there, panting and out of breath. Shell-shocked at what had just transpired, neither moved. Still joined together, Hutch felt Starsky's breath of the back of his neck.

Somehow Hutch managed to catch his breathe and say quietly, "Love you, babe." His eyes closed and he fell into an exhausted sleep, worn out from Starsky's lovemaking.

* * * *

His arms firmly around his Hutch's chest, Starsky pulled him tightly into his embrace. Even after pounding Hutch into the mattress, he still felt the need to mark his lover. To possess Hutch completely. His thoughts raced.

Lightly biting on Hutch's shoulder, bruised a little from his earlier ministrations, Starsky left a deeper mark, branding Hutch with his teeth. _He's mine, no one else's. Not Gillian's, not Vanessa's, but mine. Kira can't touch us now. She could never give you this, pal. You went wild._

Starsky knew that Hutch had wanted him like this for awhile. Hutch sleeping with Kira had been the last straw in their tense relationship of the last couple of months. That betrayal had forced him to finally deal with his feelings of jealously in seeing Hutch with Kira. Watching Hutch come out of her bedroom. It still hurt to think about it.

Surely that explained his overwhelming need to possess Hutch? That had to explain it all. 

Snuggling closer to the warm, naked body under him and feeling more content at this moment, then he had in the past month; Starsky thought maybe they could work this out after all. He hoped they could, but the dark thought that maybe tonight had forever damaged their relationship nagged him.

* * * *

Hutch woke up slowly, his mind not quite processing his whereabouts at first. Then, he felt the warmth of a hairy body pressed close to him. He remembered. Starsky. They were on his couch, naked as the day they had been born, wrapped around each other. His couch had never been the ideal place to sleep. His legs being too long to fit comfortably in the small space. His whole body ached. 

_Yeah, and having your partner's dick shoved up your ass probably didn't help either, Hutchinson._ Hutch moved away from the warmth of his partner's body, grimacing slightly at the new ached in his lower body. Starsky didn't move, dead to the world.

But, this morning Hutch didn't feel elation or joy, just sorrow. Remembering the night before, Hutch realized Starsky had been so mad at him, and wanted to lash out in the most primitive way possible. Starsky had only said one word during their lovemaking. Hutch realized it said volumes. No, there was nothing to be happy about this morning.

Hutch moved into the bedroom to get some clothes. Right now, he need to think and he couldn't do that here.

Quickly Hutch got dressed and left the apartment.

* * * *

Starsky woke feeling cold and lonely. He looked around the small Venice Place apartment for his partner, but didn't see him anywhere. Unconcerned about his nudity, he walked into the bathroom, thinking maybe Hutch was in the shower. Not there. Knowing they had to talk, Starsky walked over to the window which looked out onto the street to see if Hutch's LTD was still parked there. It was. Frowning, Starsky wondered where his partner had gone.

Knowing his partner all too well, Starsky figured Hutch was somewhere contemplating their actions last night and beating himself up about it. He had to find him before the other man worked himself into a frenzy. 

Still staring out the window, lost in his own thoughts about his absent partner, Starsky saw a lone figure walking on the Venice beach beyond the street. There was no mistaking the silvery hair glistening in the early morning sun. It was Hutch. Starsky quickly found his clothes scattered about the apartment floor and donned them. It was time to pay the piper...

* * * *

So engrossed in his own thoughts, Hutch didn't see or hear Starsky coming towards him on the beach until he was nearly on top on him.

Hutch looked into his friend and now lover's eyes, expecting to see something to help him in what to say to the man standing in front of him. Starsky's indigo blue eyes gave away nothing. 

_You're not going to make this easy, are you, babe?_

Hutch sat down in the sand, putting his face in his hands, trying to think of something profound to say that would explain what had happened between them last night. To explain it away and put their friendship back together. But, he drew a blank. Trying to keep the chilly California wind away from his now numb body, Hutch wrapped his arms around his chest. He heard Starsky sit down next to him. Eons passed and neither man spoke, waiting for the other to start the conversation.

Hesitantly, breaking the wall of silence between them, Starsky spoke first, "Hutch, please tell me what you're thinking."

Starsky continued, "You hate me, right? You never want to speak to me again and you're gonna ask Dob-ey for a transfer." His voice wobbled a little at the last remark. "Don't worry, I understand. I mean I practically...raped you last night. I was so out of control-"

Not allowing Starsky to finish, Hutch broke in quickly, "Rape? My god, is that what you're beating yourself up about, Starsk? Last night was definitely _not_ rape. I was as hot for it as you were, maybe more. I mean I've wanted you to make love to me for a long time. But, after what happened with John Blaine...I know how you feel about two guys together. It's okay. I understand if you don't want to see me again."

He waited for the inevitable conclusion. For Starsky to tell him good-bye. Hutch had fucked up this relationship just as he'd fucked up every other relationship he'd attempted to have. Only he'd thought Starsky and he would be friends forever. He could blame it on Kira, but deep down he knew this was on _him._

Staring out at the endless ocean, listening to the pounding surf, the seagulls squawking and lost in despair, he almost missed Starsky reply.

"Hutch, you got this all wrong. I thought maybe you hated me for the way I used you last night. I was so mad at you I couldn't think straight. I couldn't control myself-"

"After what I pulled with Kira, you have every right to be mad. This is all my fault, not yours. If I had just been honest from the beginning about my feelings for you, none of this mess would have happened," Hutch protested.

"No, Hutch. You were right, this wasn't really about Kira. It was about me being hurt that you could betray me that way, to use Kira to get to me. After we made up at Huggy's, I realized why you had slept with her. How you felt about me."

"You figured it out at Huggy's?"

"Yeah, the look on your face when we told her it was both of us...or neither of us...I mean I may be slow sometimes, but I could just see how much you wanted her to reject our suggestion. You wanted me all to yourself. It was as plain as day. Then, I realized how much you loved me."

Starsky paused to catch his breath, "Lately, I've been so mad at you and I didn't quite understand why. So mad I wanted to punish you somehow. That's what the last month has been all about. Last night, all that bottled up stuff came out and I felt like I had to make you understand that you were mine, and mine alone."

Hutch stared at Starsky, listening as the other man continued.

"Last night, when we were making love - and it was love, Hutch - I realized that I had wanted you too for a long time, I was just afraid to admit it to myself. After Johnny, well, you know how well I handled that. But, Johnny's not _us._ We're different. You gotta believe that. We both know Kira was a cover, right? I didn't really love her. Maybe subconsciously I wanted to make you jealous by telling you I loved her. I'm not saying you sleeping with her didn't hurt. It did. But, I think we can get past it. We both made mistakes, but it's time for the truth, if we're gonna work this out. It's who do we trust time?"

After patiently waiting for Starsky to finish, Hutch didn't know what to say. Starsky had bared his soul to him. _How in the world can I respond to that? The truth. Only the truth would do now._ He trusted only one person in this world, and it was his partner.

Hutch calmly responded, knowing it was now or never, "Look, you want the truth? The truth is, I'm tired of the pretending. Tired of the games. I feel like we've been playing this game for years. After this mess with Kira, I know there's only one person for me and he's sitting right next to me. Life's too short, I'm not going pretend anymore that I don't love you. That I'm in love with you."

He put his hand on top of Starsky's, "Either you accept that, and we move on from here. Or we forget about the whole partnership and go our separate ways. 'Cause now that we've been together, I couldn't go back to just being friends. The decision is up to you now, buddy," Hutch's voice shook as he finished.

"Hutch, look at me." When he refused to look up, Starsky grabbed his chin and forced him to look. Starsky's blue eyes piercing the distance between them.

"Haven't you been listening to me, Blondie? I love you. You. Ken Hutchinson. Big, dumb, blond cop." 

Hutch smiled. Starsky smiled back.

"No matter what happens, I do know that I'm not leaving you. Not ever. We've meant too much to each other for me to leave now. You're right, we need to put this behind us and start fresh. Forget Kira ever happened. Move on."

Hutch sat on the beach stunned at his partner's revelations. He loves me. Me, not Kira. Hutch didn't think he had ever heard his partner talk so much about his feelings in the ten years or more that they had known one another, then he had in the past fifteen minutes.

Starsky's silence last night during their lovemaking had chilled his heart, making him question his own feelings and Starsky's. But now, Starsky had laid all those fears to rest. His overactive imagination of thinking his partner would never want to see him again vanished. 

He loves me. 

Hutch moved and leaned his head on his partner shoulders, his throat constricting at the emotion coursing through his body. Unable to keep his emotions in check after assuming the worst after waking this morning, he realized he was being given another chance to love Starsky. He wasn't going to mess it up this time. 

Raising his head, Hutch took Starsky's face between his two hands and vowed, "Starsk, I promise, no more games, no more lies. No more Kiras. We can make this work. I love you, too."

"Finally. Now shut up and kiss me, you big blond Blintz, 'cause I'm hungry and-"

Hutch closed the distance and captured Starsky's mouth in a kiss before he could finish the sentence. Starsky opened his mouth and kissed Hutch back. Lost in the kiss, in each other; Hutch forgot they were on the beach, until the noise of the street sweeping machine in the street behind him pulled him out of his reverie.

Starsky quipped, "You know you make me forget we're on a public beach, buddy? Can't have us getting arrested now, can we?" 

Hutch smiled at the words, an irresistible, devastating happy grin.

Starsky stood up first, offering his hand to Hutch, who used it to pull himself up. They fell into each other's arms, laughing at each other for the first time in over a month; content in their new-found feelings for one another. It would take some time to work out all the kinks, but they would do it. _Together._

Hand in hand, they walked across the sand towards home and their future.


End file.
